It's been a while since I have written anything for this blog. I mean,I post stuff all the time, like songs or my newsletter but I don't really write much. I'm not a writer. To be honest I really don't even like to write. I think a huge part of the reason I don't like to write is, that I never know what to say. I guess I could write about my day; Fill the pages up with the details of my life, Or I could write about certain experiences I've had, but No matter what it is, I just cant bring myself to write down the words that shape the experiences.
It might be different if time didn't pass so quickly. If I had a moment to stop and write down what just happened, I possibly would. Often, in my mind, I go over certain moments in my head, I have the best intentions of writing them down , but when I get home to write it down, the urge to remember it has passed and before I even realise, I have moved on to a new memory. Sometimes, As a moment is happening I think to myself “I must share this with someone!” but by the time I find someone to tell, the moment is now a memory and people have lives to live and their own stories to tell. Suddenly, some things instantly become less important. An example of this is: I will experience something in Northern Ireland that may be funny or just random but as I talk to my twin sister who lives in Brazil about it , the topic suddenly becomes confusing or I just don't really care to explain any more.
Some things, just can't be understood. You can explain things until your brain explodes with exhaustion but until my sister comes here, she just can't picture what I am saying. Just like I don't know what she's talking about when she explains something. Sometimes things just don't mean the same, and sometimes things just aren't as important as I thought they were.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that, No matter how much I would like to write or explain, sometimes I just don't know where to begin. Sometimes I just feel like I would waste time trying to explain something that some people just can't understand. I would love to write down moments before they become memories right as they are happening. But maybe there comes a time when words no longer draw pictures. Times when your brain can't understand no matter how hard you try. I would love to tell you stories but sometimes it seems as soon as they happen the memory is gone and life just doesn't slow down enough. I'm not saying that it's completely pointless for me to write my memories and experiences down, I'm just trying to recognise the balance between what experiences I want to share and how to share them to where I get the point across. I think the hardest and yet the simplest part of writing, is actually writing down the memories or experiences. So, I think the best way to defeat this long overdue feeling of writers block is to just jump in there.
